The Scream – Birth Trauma Awareness Week

 

 

 

 

Surrender.

 

Fear.

 

Hacked flesh.

 

A baby.

 

A mother.

 

Silence.

 

Life goes on.

 

Then, a small voice.

 

I was hurt. 

 

I was frightened.

 

I am broken.

 

I am no longer whole.

 

‘A healthy baby is all that matters’ 

 

‘At least you’re both safe now’

 

(I am not safe, I am broken, I am no longer whole, I am not safe, I am broken, I am no longer whole,  I am not safe, I am broken, I am no longer whole)

 

And on,

and on,

and on.

 

Placating, patronising, unhearing.

 

A dead end.

 

(why can’t you hear me?)

 

Silence.

 

It is not silent.

 

It screams.

 

Loud.

 

Louder.

 

Gnawing,  manifesting,

 

Wrapping itself round bones,

 

Deeper and darker within.

 

Raw, hot,

 

The cloak of shame,

 

dragging through pools of stagnant thoughts.

 

A black, indelible mark,

 

smeared on a shattered soul.

 

The heaviest of agonies,

 

Guilt.

 

I am being crushed.

 

Suffocating.

 

Screaming.

 

Silent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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